Pregnant Nympho Sex

By
April 26th, 2007
Pregnant Nymphos


Pregnant sex is hot.

My bulbous-bellied, hormonally-horny spouse is pursuing me around the house, ramming her enormous nipples into my mouth, ravaging my genitalia ten times a week.

She's usually a laid-back, bored type of lover, but lately, she can't get enough meat in her oven.

Nobody told me pregnancy entailed passionate, crazy, kinky boinking like this — truth is, I feared my wife would just get fat, bossy, fetid, weepy, and frigid. I even stockpiled porn, bunkering up for nine months of wanking that I'm now too drained to even consider.

"Blood is marching to my groin and mammary glands," moans my wife. "My pussy's always sopping wet because I'm in a constant state of desire."

I suspect she's just a heated freak, imagining things — but physicians back up her frothy analysis. In The Pregnancy Book: Month-by-Month, Everything You Need to Know From America's Baby Experts, authors William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N. state that "some women become aroused more easily and climax more quickly, pleasurably, and frequently ... during the middle months of pregnancy, than at any other time in their lives."

Titillating promises also exist in the guidebook's "For Men" section: "Some women experience new cravings, stunning their mates with sudden and unexpected voracity. Don't be surprised if your pregnant partner turns tiger." Yabba-dabba-do!



Last Saturday, at our Prenatal Yoga class, I queried several other mothers-to-be about their maternal libidos: "My boobs are ripe and juicy, and my vagina is hungry," confesses Stephanie, in her seventh month. "I walk down the street thinking about sex with every man that passes by, because they smell musty like animals — when I get home, I immediately want it doggiestyle, because it's so comfortable."

"She's quicker!" grins her husband Darryl. "No half hour of grinding required, unless she wants multiple orgasms. Suddenly, I'm a stud!"

My wife is panting uncontrollably, her kundalini inflamed by the class's contortionist postures. Impatiently, she pulls on my belt, to hurry me home for some humping.

Ten minutes later, I'm getting naked-nookie-slurped again — this time, on the stairs. Used to be, her only erotic time-space was under the sheets when TV programs weren't promising, but now, every second and centimeter of the planet has copulatory potential.

What about my lust, you're wondering — does the wide-waisted waddler turn me on? YES! Why?
  1. It's Perverted. Mounting a pregger-lady is like screwing your Mom. Naughty. Incestuous. My cock stiffens now when I see nine-monthers struggling down the street.

  2. New Flesh. My wife's figure has bloomed so big, it feels like I'm cheating on her with a zaftig mistress — quite pleasurable, after the decade of skinny monogamy that I've suffered.

  3. Checking On Junior. This Daddy likes poking his head down the hallway, knocking on the cervix door to say "Hi!" to his son.

  4. Stress Reduction. If I wasn't romping wild with my wife, I'd just be worrying about college tuition, and my spawn metamorphosing into a Littleton monster.


My final advice to future fathers is this: Encourage your womb-mate to dabble in midwife quackery.

For example: My wife's never allowed me to enter her sphincter — but yesterday, she read in a midwifery text that her "perineum" needs softening, to help it expand elastically when our child is crowning. The perineum is a chunk of gristle lying nastily between rectum and vagina.

"You'll massage it for me, putting a finger in each hole, and squeezing hard," explains my wife.

"Goodie!" I agree.

"Eventually," she blushes, "something ... wider ... needs to stretch the tight cavity — my perineum needs pounding, like abalone..."

"This Dad will do his duty!" I promise. Finally, anal sex has family value!

See also:
Screech's Sex Tape Follies
World Sex Laws
Why Sarah Palin's Sex Life Matters
Japanese Nose Abuse


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6 Responses to “Pregnant Nympho Sex”

  1. Anon Says:

    Man I know what you mean my wife f*cked the hell outta my man meat … so much so that I didnt know what to do anymore but just lay there and be banged like crazy till she got off 4 or 5 times … dont get me wrong the primal man inside said this is great but then the thinking man said … my dick hurts. Have fun layin it to your wife I know I would.

  2. When Getting Pregnant Makes Women Crazy for Sex at Dethroner Says:

    [...] Pregnant Nymphos [10 Zen Monkeys] (There is a Suicide Girls ad on there which flashes a breast but it is otherwise work safe.) [...]

  3. Sabine Says:

    yep, I can attest as one extrodinarily horny pregnant vixen- insatiable- although only stoppable by the gymanstics of it!

  4. chris Says:

    what the hell are you on here complaining for? U need some pherapy. too much sex is like saying u have to much money.

    thanks, i am serious go to the doctor and i will pray 4 u.

  5. Matej Says:

    Lol found this post surfing around and you are totally crazy :))) In positive way of course. My wife is pregnant at the moment and I just love having sex with here, it is even better now then ever before :)

    Am I pervert? Lol I dont care :) I just love it!

    The only fear I have is about my darling Loosing Weight After Pregnancy, it is hard to do and will help her a lot!

  6. Liza Del Sierra Says:

    (Pregnant Nympho Sex – 10 Zen Monkeys) is a nice post so I posted it on my twitter account to hopefully give you more readers. Perhaps you could look into Digg Digg plugin to make it easier for your readers to spread it out. Just my 2 cents.

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