Death at Christmas

By
December 19th, 2008


It's easy to hate Christmas: the endless forced good cheer, the media-driven consumer frenzy, the It's a Wonderful Life fantasy dissolving into a Married... with Children reality.

But no matter how bad your holiday is, rest assured that it could have been far worse.

1. Family Discord.
Home was definitely not the place to be for the family of R. Gene Simmons of Dover, Arkansas in 1987. The clan was rapidly becoming estranged from the family patriarch. Even his favorite daughter, who had borne him a son, had run off and gotten married. It was time for revenge. As each contingent showed up at the dilapidated family mobile home to try to put a happy face on for the holiday, Simmons shot the adults and strangled the children. By Christmas Day, he'd wiped out almost three generations of Simmons, 14 all told. It was the worst family slaughter in American history.

But wait — he wasn't done yet! For an encore a few days later, he went on a shooting rampage through a few former places of employment. He killed two people and injured four more before surrendering to police. He later became the first man executed by lethal injection in Arkansas.

2.The Season of Not Giving.
The holiday-fueled impulse to eradicate one's family isn't limited to the dysfunctional trailer park crowd. H. Sanford Williams was eminently respectable, having been an Army Chaplin, a Methodist Pastor, and finally the head of a charity, the National Retirement Foundation. Alas, the season of sharing had been a bust donation-wise and his foundation was in serious trouble. On Christmas Eve in 1957, the St. Petersburg, Florida man shot and killed his wife and two sons before turning the gun on himself.



3. Xmas Pageant Inferno.
It was the climax of the 1924 Christmas Eve pageant at the Babb's Switch, Oklahoma one-room schoolhouse. The last recitation had ended, the last carol faded. Now Santa himself was handing out bags of candy to all the children. But oh no! Santa brushed against the candle-lit tree. Within minutes, the room was a seething inferno, with 200 men, women, and children trying to force their way out the only exit: a door that opened inward. Thirty-four people died. But thanks to the heroic efforts of Santa and the schoolteacher (both of whom were themselves incinerated), only five children were among the dead.

4. The Deadly Christmas tree.
The substitution of incandescent lights for candles didn't eliminate the tendency of Christmas trees to turn into pyrotechnic yule logs. One of the deadliest of these modern-day holiday firebombs was Niles Street Hospital's 1945 tree. When a nurse unplugged the tree lights on Christmas Eve in the Hartford, Connecticut convalescent hospital, a spark ignited the dry needles. She grabbed a fire extinguisher, but panicked at the sight of the roaring flames and fled. Not only did she not even bother to call the fire department (neighbors, woken by the crackling flames, summoned them several minutes later), she left the front door open to properly ventilate the blaze. The building was completely gutted, and 15 patients and two staff died.

5. The Lethal Midnight Mass.
Christmas Eve midnight mass in Temoaya, Mexico in 1953 had just finished. Three thousand worshippers were peacefully filing out when someone tripped over the wrong wire. There was a bright blue flash, and then total darkness. All sense of peace and goodwill toward men vanished as the crowd transformed into a panic-stricken mob stampeding from the sanctuary. By the time the lights came on a few minutes later, 23 people were dead and over 200 injured.

See Also:
Five Awful Thanksgivings in History
Christmas 2.0: Subverting the Holidays with Re-dubbing
Atheist Filmmaker Launches Blasphemy Challenge
Alvin and the Chipmunks Launch IMunks.com
"Miracles"


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8 Responses to “Death at Christmas”

  1. The Anti-Boredom Team » Noel and Hannuka Links Says:

    [...] Death at Christmas. “No matter how bad your holiday is, five examples from history prove that it could’ve [...]

  2. The Five Worst Christmases Ever | The F U Republiblog Says:

    [...] came in at Number 5 on ZenMonkeys: Christmas Eve midnight mass in Temoaya, Mexico in 1953 had just finished. Three [...]

  3. TheOldSchool Says:

    NOW do you understand why I scrupulously avoid spending the holidays in trailer parks, churches, and hospitals?

  4. spot check billy Says:

    Another nominee:

    GREAT FALLS, Va. – A man shot to death four people on Christmas Day in suburban Washington before killing himself, police said.
    The man killed his mother in a house they shared in McLean and then traveled about eight miles to a house in Great Falls where he shot two men and a woman and then himself, The Washington Post reported on Monday, citing police sources.

    Source: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/nation/20051226-0635-fiveshot.html

    The killer had been involved in some kind of gun-related prank a few days before and thought mass murder and suicide was preferable to being arrested.

    We were passed by the police cars for the initial response on our way to Christmas at the in-laws …

  5. Marginalized Action Dinosaur » Do you hate Christmas? Death at Christmas, and a Christmas wish for the left. Says:

    [...] 10zenmonkeys [...]

  6. When Christmas Attacks « Spieler Says:

    [...] CHRISTMAS attacks when you least expect it: The Lethal Midnight Mass. [...]

  7. The Art of Darkness » Blog Archive » One More Doggone Link Dump Says:

    [...] Death at Christmas – Five tragedies that make a slightly-dysfunctional family celebration seem downright pleasant. [...]

  8. Eileen Says:

    “She grabbed a fire extinguisher, but panicked at the sight of the roaring flames and fled.” This is why training, over and over again, is so essential. Maybe even a live drill somewhere, if possible. Eileen

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