Awesomest Congressional Campaign Ever — Vernon Robinson, N.C.

By
September 27th, 2006
Helms & Robinson


"Brad Miller even spent your tax dollars to pay teenage girls to watch pornographic movies with probes connected to their genitalia."

That's from a TV campaign ad by Vernon Robinson, who's trying to unseat incumbent Democrat Miller for the U.S. House of Representatives in the 13th District of North Carolina. In the process, he's created some of the most amusing campaign messages in recent memory.

Here's another, from the same ad:

"Brad Miller spent your money to study the masturbation habits of old men."



Robinson is an African-American and a rabid conservative Republican. In 2004, he lost a bid for the 5th District, but not before providing the locals with some high-concept political cabaret. He's so far to the right that the Winston-Salem Journal declared in an editorial about Robinson, "Jesse Helms is back! And this time, he's black." Robinson's campaign then adopted it as a slogan. A radio campaign ad was so controversial and borderline illegal that local station WSJS felt it had to pull all ads for the 5th District Primary.

His current campaign is wonderfully absurd and offensive, which makes it a joyful slapstick take on national politics. One radio ad uses a Mariachi soundtrack while claiming, "If Miller had his way, America would be nothing but one big fiesta for illegal aliens and homosexuals." And another, with banjo music in the background: "Hey all you illegals, put your shoes on. Go home. Don't come back now, y'hear?"

Beyond ads, Robinson pulled an old trick of his and suggested that since Miller is middle-aged and childless, he must be homosexual. Miller then felt he had to explain that his wife is unable to bear children due to the fact she had a hysterectomy and suffers from endometriosis.

Robinson's media savvy is matched only by his massive set of huevos. But the meanness is almost enough to feel sorry for Miller. Certainly, if they weren't both public figures, Robinson would be giving the keynote address at the yet-to-be-announced First Annual Griefer's Convention.

See also:
5 Nastiest Campaign Ads So Far
5 More Nasty Campaigns
My Opponent Pays for Gay Teen Bestiality.


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15 Responses to “Awesomest Congressional Campaign Ever — Vernon Robinson, N.C.”

  1. Flashman Says:

    Ha, that is awesome. Can’t wait to see what other plotlines the Republicans borrow from The West Wing

  2. cnycompguy Says:

    Well, all that makes me want to do is vote for Brad Miller, seriously, who wouldnt want to probe teenage hotties watching porn…

  3. R. Elgin Says:

    I do not think this sort of drive-by character assasination will work for the Republican candidate thug, rather, I think it will open people’s eyes as to just what a bum he really is.

  4. Tim Says:

    That IS awesome — it makes Rich Tarrant’s ads in Vermont look tame. He’s telling us here that Bernie Sanders favors rapists and child molestors, and is trying to get drug dealers to move next door to every single one of us (berniesrecord.com). But now…Vernon takes the cake!

  5. zorro Says:

    “Brad Miller even spent your tax dollars to pay teenage girls to watch pornographic movies with probes connected to their genitalia.”

    He’d get my vote!! :)

  6. The Bird......... Says:

    No more boom-boom for that mamma-san……:(

  7. Kevin Says:

    I notice nobody here even cares if they charges are true….just that they’ve been made.

  8. Woody Says:

    Of course they’re true. They were actual studies that were done with public funding that this guy indirectly provided. They are ridiculously reworded though, to make it sound like he had something to do with it.

  9. Doobie Says:

    What we need is something that can’t be understood…

    John Cage

  10. NC guy Says:

    Here are the facts about the Vernon “Let’s get rid of all the minorities, hey wait a minute,” Robinson’s ad:

    Dear Friends — you may see an ad soon that questions Congressman Miller’s support for body armor for our troops. Every time I think Vernon Robinson cannot go any lower, he finds a new depth. Below is a non-partisan analysis of the latest television ad by the Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania. It affirms that you can’t believe everything you see on television!

    Please share with your friends and neighbors and remind them if it comes from Vernon you should think twice about the source.

    “XXX” Marks the Spot Where Campaign Ads Head South
    Attack ad claims Rep. Miller voted to fund sex research but not body armor.

    September 27, 2006

    Summary
    In an ad that many viewers will find distasteful, Republican House candidate Vernon Robinson accuses Democratic Rep. Brad Miller of voting to spend money on silly-sounding sex studies into masturbation, prostitution and arousal of teenage girls while trying “to deny our soldiers the body armor they need to save their lives.”

    We find the ad misleading on several counts. Miller did nothing that would have denied body armor for troops. There was no connection between the National Institutes of Health studies in question and funding for body armor. And despite the misleading way the ad belittles them, the sex studies had such stated goals as slowing the spread of AIDS, understanding homosexuality and improving the lives of senior citizens as their sexual function declines.

    Analysis
    This ad first aired Sept. 25 in North Carolina. We’ll leave our readers to judge for themselves whether masturbation, prostitution and sneering references to “XXX” and sex are proper subjects for a political ad. We’ll confine ourselves to the ad’s factual accuracy, which we find wanting.

    Robinson for Congress Ad: “Pays for Sex”

    Announcer: What kind of Congressman would try to deny our soldiers the body armor they need to save their lives?
    (On Screen: Soldiers alongside a flag-draped coffin.)
    Announcer: Well the answer is, your Congressman, Brad Miller. That’s right, Brad Miller did not vote for the appropriation to pay for improved body armor for our troops. But Brad Miller has no trouble spending your money, he, he would just rather spend it on sex.
    (On Screen: A Picture of Rep. Brad Miller with “XXX” printed over it.)
    (Sound FX: Animal noises.)
    Announcer: That’s right, instead of spending money on sickle-cell research Brad Miller voted to spend your money to study the sex lives of Vietnamese prostitutes in San Francisco. Instead of spending money on cancer research, Brad Miller spent your money to study the masturbation habits of old men. Brad Miller spent your tax dollars to study something called the Bisexual Transgendered and Two-Spirited Aleutian Eskimos, whoever they are. Brad Miller even spent your tax dollars to pay teenage girls to watch pornographic movies with probes connected to their genitalia. Brad Miller pays for sex, but not for body armor for our troops. If Miller had better priorities, you wouldn’t be having to hear this.
    (On Screen: Images of soldiers in combat.)
    Robinson: “I’m Vernon Robinson and I approved this message because Brad Miller is out of touch and soon, he’ll be out of Congress.”

    Body armor falsehood

    As we noted less than a week ago, both Democrats and Republicans in this particularly bitter election year are falsely trying to paint their opponents as somehow opposed to giving US troops the latest body armor. This Republican ad is just the latest bit of this malicious bunk.

    Robinson’s ad asks, “What kind of Congressman would try to deny our soldiers the body armor they need to save their lives?” and then goes on to say Miller “did not vote for the appropriations to pay for improved body armor”

    It’s true that Miller missed the October 2003 vote on an $87-billion supplemental appropriations measure for Iraq and Afghanistan that included $300 million for body armor. The ad fails to mention that Miller was on his way to Iraq at the time to visit the troops personally. More to the point, however, is that it is simply false to claim that Miller tried to “deny” body armor to anybody. As we said before, by the time of this vote the Pentagon was buying every piece of modern body armor that suppliers could produce using existing funds.

    “XXX”-rated sex studies?

    The ad then goes on to use the time-dishonored tactic of making fun of government-funded research by giving twisted or incomplete descriptions of the subject matter. “Miller has no trouble spending your money,” says the announcer, his voice dripping with contempt, “he would just rather spend it on sex.” On screen a large “XXX” appears over Miller’s smiling photograph. The announcer continues, saying Miller “voted to spend your money to study the sex lives of Vietnamese prostitutes in San Francisco . . . spent your money to study the masturbation habits of old men . . . (and) something called the Bisexual Transgendered and Two-Spirited Aleutian Eskimos, whoever they are, (and) even spent your tax dollars to pay teenage girls to watch pornographic movies with probes connected to their genitalia.”

    It’s true that Miller voted July 10, 2003 against a Republican amendment that would have forced the National Institutes of Health to cancel five specific research grants, including the four mentioned in the ad. It failed narrowly, 210-212. Those who voted with Miller included 164 other Democrats, 46 Republicans and one independent. Those who spoke in debate did not defend the specifics of the grants, but argued generally that NIH uses a system of peer review by scientists to allocate research money, and that the process shouldn’t be made political. Democratic Rep. David Obey of Wisconsin said, for example, “I would rather trust the judgment of 10 doctors sitting around a table than I would 10 politicians sitting around a table when we decide how to allocate taxpayer money for those grants.”

    A look at the documentation for these grants also reveals that they are not exactly as Robinson’s ad describes them. We deal with each in turn:

    “Vietnamese Prostitutes”: This study was an effort to find a way to prevent the spread of AIDS. It was proposed in 2001 by the University of California San Francisco, to “describe drug use and HIV-related behaviors among Asian female commercial sex workers at massage parlors” in the area. The study was awarded $1,726,536 from Fiscal 2002-2004 according to NIH documents.
    “Masturbation Habits of Old Men”: Masturbating was included as one part of a much larger study on how declining sexual function affects the quality of life of elderly men. The research would, according to the proposal summary, “provide the most comprehensive picture to date of the sexual behavior of aging men.” The project was awarded in August 2001 according to NIH documents and had received $137,378 in funding by Fiscal 2002. It was proposed in response to a recommendation by the NIH to conduct additional research on aging and sexual function.
    “Two-Spirited Aleutian Eskimos”: This grant didn’t just deal with “Eskimos,” it attempted to gain a national picture of homosexuality, bisexuality, transgender and “two-spirited” individuals in the American Indian and Alaskan Native populations. The term “two-spirit” refers simply to Native Americans involved in same-sex relationships, according to a definition posted on the North East Two Spirit Society’s website . The proposal envisioned 400 interviews about sexual risk and drug and alcohol use. Between fiscal years 2002 and 2006 the project received $2,368,017. According to the proposal submitted to the NIH the grant ends May 31, 2007.
    “Teenage Girls”: This grant actually proposed to study sexual arousal in 180 lesbian, bisexual and heterosexual “women,” and makes no mention of “teenage girls” as test subjects as the ad claims. The proposal received $147,000 between fiscal years 2001 and 2002 but was not funded in fiscal 2003.
    Pays for sex?

    The ad concludes by saying, “Brad Miller pays for sex, but not for body armor for our troops. If Miller had better priorities, you wouldn’t be having to hear this.”

    Saying Miller “pays for sex” makes it sound as though he’s hiring the services of prostitutes, though Robinson offers no evidence of that. And saying it’s Miller’s fault that viewers are “having to hear this” gets things backwards. It was Robinson’s decision to put this fact-twisting bunk on the air. If he had greater respect for the facts you wouldn’t have to be reading this.

    –by Brooks Jackson & Emi Kolawole

    Sources
    “Miller, Johnson spar in televised forum,” Associated Press State & Local Wire. 23 October 2004.

    “Rep. Brad Miller in Congressional Delegation Traveling to Iraq, Kuwait, Germany,” Press Release. Office of Representative Brad Miller. 31 Oct 2003.

  11. Sinister Walrus Says:

    Brad Miller would get my vote if I lived there. Regardless of the fact that the man sounds more appealing as a leader anyways, derogatory campaign ads such as the ones Vernon Robinson has engaged in immediatly incline me towards the recipient of said ads. Such actions imply insecurity, weakness, and fear; qualities I find repulsive and disquieting in a leader of my people. If you cannot win an election through your own behavior, you are unworthy. Why further dishonor yourself by resorting to such childish bickering as “Oh yeah? Well, um……..he did this and this and this, so, um, I’m better than him!”. It’s disgusting. Accept your defeat, congratulate your opponent, and concentrate on becoming better so you succeed the next go round. That is all.

  12. Ultraman Says:

    In regards to this Brad Miller site, have you all seen that the exact same ad is used for a Congressional ad for Paul Nelson in Wisconsin? Anyone know anything about this cookie-cutter political ad agency peddling these ads from district to district?

  13. Gregory Says:

    I’m sorry, but even V.Robinson’s ‘pushing the edge’ ads are deserved by
    B.Miller……he does NOT represent traditional N.C. resident values in the
    least; I can’t for the life of me figure out how he ever got elected. And his
    record shows he’s one of the least effective representatives of the 435 in
    office……no pride to expunge from North Carolinians……he’s almost to John Edward’s senatorial level of mainly taking up space.

  14. vernon robinson Says:

    No links to teenage girls with ummm… you know?

    Well, fine, for those who wanted to do some nice
    legitimate political research into my opponent,
    here is his favorite website.

    http://www.hardtied.com

    Yours,

    Vehrnon Ibrahim Robinson

  15. Kilgore Gonzo Says:

    Well, this IS an eye-opener, and no mistake (as Samwise Gamgee would say, if he lived in THIS world, in 2007 and was not fictional)…ANNNYWAY….Is this stuff for real? Are these guys TOTAL pederasts or what? I literally (well, virtually) stumbled upon THIS one, by way of at least 5 diff. websites, researching the obscene hunger for (and possible entrapment of) teenage, Vietnamese girls, in only ONE Yahoo Answers poster.

    If you hate these guys as much as I do, then post something–gimme info! Or at least give me their itinerary…so we can…uh…TALK.

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