Dustin Diamond vs. Sgt. Harvey

By
May 20th, 2007

VH-1 proudly displayed the clip on their blog, gloating that in comparison, "All the throwdowns from the current drama-filled season of Celebrity Fit Club seem like kids' stuff..." It's Dustin Diamond vs. Sgt. Harvey Walden— the detached smart-ass comic confronted by a former Marine drill instructor.

Dustin's been riding a wave of publicity ever since that infamous sex tape was released to the world. (Click here for our interview with Dustin about it.) Did Dustin enjoy the notoriety too much? Or did VH-1 set him up? And is it a verbal beatdown — or a former child star righteously standing his ground?



After 11 years of playing Screech on Saved by the Bell and its sequels, Dustin became a standup comic, ultimately joining the cast of VH-1's celebrity weight-loss competition. In this profanity-laced clip from Sunday's episode, Dustin weighs himself for Sgt. Harvey and the show's nutritionist, Dr. Ian Smith. Dustin had already challenged comedian Ant, the shows host, to "physical combat" for making what he thought was a bad call. When Harvey aggressively dismisses him, Dustin offhandedly refers to the UFC, which is the Ultimate Fighting Championship — a cable TV fighting show.

And then all hell broke loose.


VH1.com Blog
A transcript of the video appears below


HARVEY: Three pounds. Get the fuck out of here.

DIAMOND: I gotta move? Everyone else has been up. I don't have to go anywhere...

HARVEY: Man, get this — somebody get his ass out of here! (Off-camera voice: "You're done, Dustin") You are fucking full of shit. I oughta, before you will tell me, I will beat your fuck — you must be out of your fucking part-time cartoon mind!

DIAMOND: (Turning to go) If you agree, we can set up the UFC...

HARVEY: Don't you ever god damn motherfucking threaten me! God damn! Don't you ever fucking threaten me!

DIAMOND: I did not threaten you.

HARVEY: You just god damn stood and said you fucking challenge me! I will wear your fucking ass out! Don't you ever fucking threaten me! I'm hear to fucking help your fat ass!

DIAMOND: You put yourself in a protected spot...

HARVEY: No, you god-damn — first after you said you'd kick his ass, you said you'd kick mine! Why the fuck don't you ever think?



DIAMOND: Did I say I'd kick your ass?

HARVEY: Yes you did!

IAN SMITH: You did.

HARVEY: You stood right there, and goddamn fucking said it!

DIAMOND: Can you roll the tape back? Is that what I said? Is that what I said?

HARVEY: You don't want fuck over with me, boy, 'cause I'll wear your fucking ass out.

DIAMOND: That's a threat.

HARVEY: I will fuck your world

IAN SMITH: Go, Dustin. Go, Dustin...

DIAMOND: That's the threat.

HARVEY: I think that... and you're god damn right, It's a fucking promise. It's not a god damn threat. It's a fucking promise! Don't you ever, in your fucking life — in your fucking cartoon life...

DIAMOND: (To stagehand) ....attack me on camera...

HARVEY: ...ever fucking threaten me, bitch. 'Cause I will wear your fucking ass out. Now you take that shit to your porn convention.

IAN SMITH: Get off the scales.

DIAMOND: I'm off the scales.

HARVEY: And if you ever fucking go to A, you better standby. Guarantee that shit, too. Now put that bitch on the VSPOT. Get the fuck out of here.

DIAMOND: Whatever.


This clip appears on VH-1's "VSPOT" page. It closes with Sgt. Harvey offering one final thought.

"He got away this time, but he's lucky my home girl held me back.

"Because I was ready to dissect him."

See Also:
Virtual Screech, Sexual Superstar
Screech's Sex Tape Follies
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37 Responses to “Dustin Diamond vs. Sgt. Harvey”

  1. Cuz Says:

    I think its funny how Sgt. Buggery keeps threatening to ‘wear’ Dustin’s ‘ass out’. Its like Full Metal Jacket if done by Andre Gide. This is why they are called ‘drill instructors’.

  2. Week 20 del.icio.us links May 20, 2007 « SteveintheUK.Com Says:

    [...] Dustin Diamond vs. Sgt. Harvey – 10 Zen Monkeys [...]

  3. AC Slater Says:

    actually, he said “porn convention” not “poor convention”

  4. vlicious1 Says:

    His name is NOT Sgt. Walden Harvey – it’s Sgt. Harvey Walden. But “psycho Dustin” has been a total pain in the ass, so I’d love to see him go toe-to-toe with Harvey. He’d turn Dustin into Hamburger Helper……

  5. Darren Says:

    Diamond is a jerk, all the publicity has gone to his head. He seems like a real douche bag, the kinda guy that would smack talk,and BS about you behind your back. He needs to get the crap beat out of him.

  6. Kate Says:

    I love watching him piss off everyone. Because when it comes down to it – it’s a corny ass, fucking stupid as hell show. And he knows it. And though he does say and do some shitty things, many times everyone are acting shitty as well. I love watching mediocre D-listers take shit like this so seriously.

  7. Washington Square News Says:

    [...] the mean time, from 10 Zen Monkeys shows what good television pay-off really is: Dustin Diamond getting a verbal whippin’ from [...]

  8. Jonny Rotten Says:

    I really want to see Dustin Diamond beat HarveyWalden down……Dustin can throw down like there is no tomorrow. Harvey talks way to much trash and it was about time someone put Harvey is his place! I remember when Dustin beat Horshack down in a real toughman style match. It did not surprise me that Harvey backed down from Dustin’s challenge…Dustin is actually a pretty big guy who has a history of toughman style matches unlike Harvey. I have been watching celebrity fit club since day one in hopes that someone would had finally put Harvey in his place and Dustin Diamond did just that.

  9. Jonny P. Says:

    haha! dustin would have won, if they would have actually gotten physical…(physically, he would have lost.) can we spell L-A-W-S-U-I-T?

  10. Dustin Says:

    If you read the dialog, Diamond never threatens Walden. He mearley suggests that they fight. He doesnt say anything about kicking his ass.. Walden has a flash back to his drill instructor days because hes sick of Diamonds bad attitude. Walden is the one who actually makes threats against Diamond. And i have to agree with Kate, it is a a corny ass stupid show. I like it when “Screech” pisses everyone off.

  11. Mr. Oodles Says:

    Maybe I’m being paranoid … but the whole thing seems like it was staged. Just can’t digest how casually Dustin Diamond suggests the UFC thing to settle the matter, and how that jerkoff Walden basically ignores that and just postures, postures and potures as a tough guy. Oh, by the way … Harvey Walden; don’t threaten to ‘wear his ass out’. It could be construed as … how can I put it? … RAGING GAY.

  12. Nut Butter Says:

    This show is set up guys…c’mon! They have to have some controversial guy to spice it up…you think if everyone is super duper sweat to each other people will watch it. They TELL him to take jabs here and there…that’s how it works. Like a Jerry Springer…it’s mostly set up…based on some real people.

  13. SgtRecon Says:

    as a former Marine it’s obvious who i think would win this….anybody who thinks Dustin could even remotely hurt First Sergeant Walden is wishfully thinking…..especially when you consider he holds several blackbelts and is a special weapons expert…..special weapons means “special ways to kill the asshole trying to kill you”…..also, he went into bootcamp when he was 17 in 1966 and let me tell you, bootcamp now is hard in the Marine Corps but in 66 it was signing up for literal hell…..
    Jonny Rotten…you’re retarded if you think Dustin beating down a 50 or 60 year old man on that celebrity boxing show makes him a badass….remember, Harvey is trained to kill people with his bare hands, and those people are in turn trying to kill him at the same time…..
    thirdly, Harvey was defending Ant, that’s how it got started, this website left that part of the conversation out….
    ……here’s my final thought, Harvey has actually killed people……Dustin has killed……..his career, and possibly his life he meets Harvey on the street………

  14. SgtRecon Says:

    one more thing…..Dustin is either faking this whole thing or he has serious mental issues….in one breath he scolds Brat for using the word retarded saying “oh, let’s make fun of retarded people” and then no more than 5 minutes later he literally uses the word to make fun of mentally retarded people saying “yeah, i am making fun of retarded people, it’s funny when they fall when they walk”…..what kind of douche uses the word to make fun of handicapped…..oh, i know what kind……screech

  15. Madison Says:

    Dustin Diamond and Harvey, I would pay money to see Harvey kick Diamond’s ass so far up his throat it would be on G SPOT! That worthless piece of shit is the biggest idiot I have ever turneed off the tube. I hope he pisses Harvey off again and Harvey brings it! Diamond is so far out of shape and touch it wouldn’t last to long but MAN it would be a blast to watch. He would become the retard he loves to mock! Ya! That would work out fine for that braindead asshole. Harvey…..BRING IT! Dude you don’t need to take your jacket off even, but if you torture him it would a bitchen bonus……..

  16. John Says:

    To SgtRecon: Walden was BORN in 1966-he’s not that old :D

    In all honesty, I really doubt Dustin could really hurt 1st Sgt. Walden. The man is a fucking drill instructor in the United States Marine Corps. Drill Instructor. That means he’s used to seeing a lot of bullshit, and has to basically be a beast to put people in line. Plus, its not like just anyone can become a DI-yeah you volunteer, but its a tough process, just like any branch of the Military, even more so since your going to be responsible for new recruits.

    Dustin Diamond:

    -Big mouth
    -Zen-like mentality
    -Overweight
    -Beat up some people on Celebrity Boxing…right
    -Clearly sees the show for being a big steaming pile of crap
    -Uses fecal matter in new and creative ways

    vs.

    1st Sgt. Harvey Walden IV

    -In Shape
    -Trained in Self-Defense
    -Holds several black belts in various martial arts
    -Is an ACTIVE Marine
    -As a DI, is more than willing to give someone an ass whooping to put them in line, especially when the person mouths off, insults their honor, disrespects others and threatens someone else with physical combat.

    VERDICT: “In tonight’s news, child-actor Dustin Diamond, recently featured in VH1’s ‘Celebrity Fit Club’, is in a coma after a physical altercation with a judge on the show. The judge in question…”

  17. Sgt. Harvey Walden Says:

    I over reacted… Dustin acted like a child, and I came back over the top looking like a complete idiot…

    I apologize… I am a drill seargent and as such I’m a mental defective.

  18. skinnydippinluv Says:

    The guy who is impersonating Harvey rubs baby oil all over Dustin each night when he comes home from a stressful day of Celebrity Fit Club.

  19. Steve Says:

    I would love to see Dustin and Harvey in physical combat. Might be interesting to watch Dustin try to make snide comments with a busted face!!

  20. CB Says:

    Harvey is a thug – at no time did Diamond state that he would kick his (Harvey’s) ass – Diamond did offer to go at “Physical Combat” with both Harvey and ant. Harvey went on an undiscilined thug rant. This is not indicative to DI’s in the corp – but Harvey’s actions proved shameful on his part.

    SgtRecon: Just because someone is or was a Marine – don’t think for a minute they can lose a fight. I have respect for leathernecks, but have fought and won my battles as well against Marines present and former,

  21. Pvt. Joker Says:

    Dustin is the most whiney, unfunny, disrespectful, wannabe, little bitch on TV right now.
    I like that he’s on. I’d also like to Knock him out! He’s the typical punk-ass, smartmouthed, “I’m always the victim”, backstabbing little shit that needs a major Ass Kicking!

    No need to kick his ass yet…I’m sure he’ll shoot himself soon enough.

    The new Celebrity Death Pool has him and Paris Hilton as the frontrunners.

  22. CG Says:

    I’m really enjoying how Dustin is pissing everyone off. The show is lame and Dustin is going out of his way to make it half-way interesting.

    I’m just waiting for him to call out Ross Matthews for being a flaming homosexual (why doesn’t he just come out of the closet??? everyone already knows).

  23. u-j Says:

    Diamond is several fries short of a happy meal. Get his “career” back on-track–Talent would be required and he’s lacking there.

  24. Ass Clown Slater Says:

    I’d like to see someone wear out Dustin’s ass – it can’t be done.

    I tried it (and I drew a picture of it – http://www.dustindiamondlove.com/gallery/Fan%20Art/slides/slaterscreech.html)

    Zack tried it.

    Belding tried it.

    Tiffany Amber Theisan tried it with a strap on – Dustin just keeps going and going and going…

    By the way, I taught his the dirty sanchez – right after I introduced him to the boston steamer. Damn, that was hot…

  25. Tanya Says:

    I watched the season finale of fit club and I must say that this issue with Dustin is a joke! Every candidate on there has real issues and to air their dirty laundry on TV and emotional dependecies are real.!!!!! WE ALL HAVE THEM! This Dustin well he’s a joke.

    As you said earlier he is totally a “wannabe” that will never be. Normally I’m not this caddy but I would rather sleep with a woman then with Diamond he is about the ugyliest male I have ever seen. Seriously, take the money that you won on FIT Club, or I should say that your team won, and get some plastic surgery. Fix your nose and your chin guy!!. You need some work done! Wow, nice house too Diamond. Living in the big city I see “Your a Cheese Head.” Were you friends with Jefferey Dalmer? That’s something to be proud of! You are so full of yourself that you probably don’t realize how stupid you looked making a total ass out of yourself and especially those comments about retarted individuals.

    Deep down inside you know you are a looser and you are grasping at any and every straw of publicity that you can get. What a shame…. You are probably quite embarrased because all of your former cast mates from Saved By The Bell are working in the movie industry and the only job (so called job) is doing porn. Porn is for loosers and UGLY PEOPLE like you.

    In closing Harvey Dustin pushed many buttons and I can’t blame you for wanting to kick his ass! He will get his pay back.

    Tanya

  26. Howie Says:

    Even Da Brat could probably beat his fake behind, and you know what he deserves it for being a cornball on a show to lose weight and punking out every time, especially going up those stairs 4 times and quitting. Even 50 yr old marsha made it. What a Wimp.

  27. Penny Says:

    Dustin would not have stood a chance against Harvey. Screech was getting worse at each fit camp while the others were all getting better. I was hoping that either Harvey or Cledus would finally give Screech what he really deserved. I got so sick of him threatening to either leave or put somebody in prison. Even the therapist couldn’t save him from himself. What a jerk!!

  28. JONGON Says:

    Dustin is a big mouth ASS-HOLE,DIP-SHIT and at 57 I would kick his ass
    myself if I had the chance
    HARVEY WOULD KILL HIN AND SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM!

    I WOULD LOVE TO SEE A GRUDGE MATCH IN THE OCTOGON’
    BEETWEEN THEM!
    Harvey would shut DUSTIN’S stupid, fat mouth . Marines are for real.

  29. Enrique Says:

    Sgt. Harvey is like way outta line lol saying things Dustin never said on dat clip lol id like to c them fight. id root for Dustin =D

  30. WTFever Says:

    I hope I’m not offending anyone when I say close to half of you people are fucking idiots. Wearing someone’s ass out means beating their ass so long they get tired, morons. The excerpt of the argument here doesn’t contain the full argument. Also Dustin knows he wouldn’t win any type of physical altercation with Harvey he was just trying to provoke Harvey into hitting him so he could sue claiming that he’d been assaulted. I’m willing to bet my life that if Harvey accepted his challenge but required Dustin sign a legal waiver, stipulating there could be no legal action taken no matter how bad he got beat up; he wouldn’t have gone through with the fight. Dustin thinks he’s so smart and so superior to everyone else but the truth of the matter is that he has no people skills because he’s still messed up in the head over the way the SBTB cast treated him. Basic Psych 101 you are rejected so you take power by doing the rejecting so you’re in control of the situation. He needs intensive therapy but Harvey kicking the shit out of him would put him in his place… I’d pay money to see that.
    Also, to the people who made the comment about Ross Mathews; what planet are you from his sexuality is an open secret. Why should he call a Press Conference to state the obvious, if you live for hearing gay men come out when essentially they’re already out then you probably ought to get a new hobby.

  31. Angelina Says:

    omfg. lol. this is just plain out funny. i saw tht episode, and i laughed my head off. lol. dustin has a big mouth tht needs to be shut

  32. Lannen Says:

    Ok first off, Dustin Diamond cannot “Throw down”…going toe to toe with somebody like Ron Palillo is hardly something to be proud of, and doesn’t prove anything except that Dustin can kick the crap out of an out of shape 58 year old geek.

    Dustin is a nobody and has been for a long time…he loves the limelight and will do almost anything to stay in it, i agree with WTFeaver…chances are if Harvey and Dustin were going to fight some waver was probably thrown in and Dustin rejected it because he couldn’t sue later on.

  33. realist Says:

    Pathetic, thats all I can say about harvry.

    He’s all mouth and no action. Dustin although an irratating rash, is too smart to crumble under desperate threats. Harvy cannot defeat him. the difference is that Harvy has te producers standing behind him to try and make him appear more than he will ever be.

    Go Dustin, Keep it real

    I Love It.

  34. Toby Says:

    Dustin is a washed up child actor who is desperately looking for attention, good or bad. I would have loved to see him and Harvey go at it; seeing Dustin get his ass kicked would have made for a great show! He was an ugly child actor turned ugly man, big deal that he has a big dick. He obviously has a very small brain to go with it. Dustin does not keep it real, he just loves to run his mouth off. His girlfriend must have very low self esteem to hang with a guy like that!

  35. Ray Says:

    JD is a prick, but Harvey went off on nothing. I think ol Harvey needs some midol and a tampon.

  36. Arbitron Says:

    They both kind of acted like jerks, but if you look closely, technically Harvey started it but making the first threat which was in a sense, a poorly thought-out preemptive strike. The problem is Dustin being so aggressive bit the bait and made a comment back that basically just escalated everything.

    If he’d replied to Harvey with “Look don’t threaten me with physical violence because you don’t like what I’m saying. We’re talking here and you want to make it physical. What’s the matter, can keep verbal pace with an out of work child actor?” While certainly snide, it would have made Harvey look like a hyper-violent fool.

  37. Steve Says:

    Not a fan of Diamond, but his background is deep with martial arts, do not be confused by his Screech character. Diamond would have easily taken down Harvey, who really is a poser. Anyone who openly states over and over again, shows photos over and over, and rekindles memories over and over while on the air that they were in the military once in civilian life is a poser. Get over it dude, there were a lot of people in the military before too ya know. You’re not the only one.

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