Hype Smackdown: iPhone v. Paris Hilton

By
June 28th, 2007

iPhone v. Paris Hilton

It's a battle of pop culture titans as two empires -- one high-tech, one high-rise -- clash in explosive PR fury. Since these two heavyweight memes have climbed into the competitive media ring of their own volition, we thought we'd size them up for you. As Stephen Colbert would say: "Pick a side -- we're at war!"


iPhone: Simple to use.
Paris Hilton: Simple.

iPhone: Well-protected against viruses.
Paris Hilton: Has herpes.

iPhone: Critics complained battery life too short.
Paris Hilton: Critics complained prison life too short.

iPhone: Provides driving directions.
Paris Hilton: Knows how to drive. (Sort of.)

iPhone: Responds to touch from multiple fingers at once.
Paris Hilton: Responds to touch from multiple fingers at once.



iPhone: Wants to be held by everyone.
Paris Hilton: Wants to be held by her mother.

iPhone: Sexy footage leaked onto the net.
Paris Hilton: Sexy footage leaked onto the net.

iPhone: Appeared in multi-million dollar ad campaign.
Paris Hilton: Appeared in House of Wax.

iPhone: Everyone wants what's in the box.
Paris Hilton: Everyone knows what's in the box.

Feel free to make your own comparisons in the comments...

See also:
Expect Trouble Activating Your iPhone
I'm a Mac v. Bill Gates: iPhone debate
5 Sexiest Apple Videos
How the iPod Changes Culture
Wonderful Wizardry of Woz



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21 Responses to “Hype Smackdown: iPhone v. Paris Hilton”

  1. SnapLogic » iPhone, iPhone, iPhone, iPhone, Paris Hilton…. Says:

    [...] that were camping out in line to be the first to buy an iPhone, but to me they all seemed like Paris Hilton paparazzi. Something you only read about but couldn’t imagine actually seeing (or wanted to [...]

  2. Wolfger Says:

    iPhone: pretty face
    Paris: not so much, really

  3. Mr. Bingley Says:

    iPhone: Has at least 4 gigs of memory
    Paris Hilton: Doesn’t

  4. Chris Farley Says:

    iPhone: Has a religious following of young geeks.
    Paris Hilton: Has a religious following of young girls.

    iPhone: Licks the competition.
    Paris Hilton: Licks the —–.

    iPhone: Cool looking and highly functional.
    Paris Hilton: Cool looking and highly dysfunctional.

    This reminds me of the penis slogan game. You know, take a product slogan and substitute the word “penis” for the product. “Have a Coke and a smile” turns into “have a penis and a smile.” You can have some fun with that too. You’d be surprised how many of them actually make sense in one way or another.

  5. Aaron Bassett Says:

    iPhone: I wouldn’t pay for it, but if someone wanted to give me one I would accept.
    Paris Hilton: I wouldn’t pay for her, but if she wanted to give me one I would accept.

  6. Wetworx Says:

    Hey, have you actually seen that sleep inducing video of her getting shagged? It is so boring that if I found my 12 year old son perusing it, I would smack him and teach him how to use google better!

    I think that most men would find it extremely difficult to stay awake, let alone anything else in the sack with that boring, cold fish.

  7. iParis Says:

    iPhone: Sometimes sucks.
    Paris Hilton: Always sucks (literally).

  8. iPhone V Paris Hilton » Big Brother Celebrity News & Gossip : Anorak Says:

    [...] er, lets you make calls and communicate. It’s the latest thing. Paris Hilton is a celebrity who is blonde-ish. Phone: Simple to use. Paris Hilton: Simple. iPhone: Questionable protection against viruses. [...]

  9. BJ Says:

    Don’t forget Michael Moore’s movie too – in the 3 way battle he is the twerp

  10. stilcho Says:

    “iPhone: Questionable protection against viruses.”

    Wrong line. Something like: “Keeps legs crossed like a nun” would have been more proper. Apple won’t even let anyone else develop *programs* for the damn thing… :P

  11. Dan Says:

    Funny stuff – love the comparison!

    I actually wrote something about this recently on my site too — personally, I think they both cost too much.

  12. Brian Says:

    iPhone – Face consists of hard, transparent plastic shell

    Paris – Face consists of hard, transparent plastic shell

    iPhone – Can be bought for $599.

    Paris – Can be bought for a line of blow

    iPhone – Fits easily in your pants

    Paris – Get easily into her pants

  13. iPhone: Update From The Palo Alto Store #2, More Links » Webomatica - tech, movies, music blog Says:

    [...] iPhone vs. Paris Hilton Hype Competition. [...]

  14. Why is the iPhone hyped up so much? Says:

    [...] to lay their hands on the product unless they are willing to flaunt it in public. So why even pit Paris Hilton against the iPhone in the battle of the hype? Just hand her an iPhone to flaunt on the Larry King Show and everywhere [...]

  15. roxxe Says:

    iPhone: Responds to touch from multiple fingers at once.
    Paris Hilton: Responds to touch from multiple fists at once.

  16. Lizard Says:

    iPhone: regurgitates files stored in memory
    Paris Hilton: regurgitates semen stored in vagina

  17. Paris contre l’iPhone Says:

    [...] l’article original pour ceux que ├ža [...]

  18. iPhone vs. Paris Hilton Says:

    [...] Ok I totally laughed my head off when reading this article by 10 Zen Monkeys. They compare Paris *Yuk* Hilton with the iPhone. Some random quotes below, including some hilarious quotes from the comments. [...]

  19. Shavon Cesare Says:

    We’ve been watching Paris Hilton’s BFF. Where do they come across these folks? They’re from another world!

  20. Andy Warden Says:

    Paris is very hot.

  21. Anonymous Says:

    Paris Hilton is a crucified and misunderstood angel for having foibles, only the press and public opinion magnifies those mistakes beyond what is reasonable.

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