Hype Smackdown: iPhone v. Paris Hilton
By Jeff DiehlJune 28th, 2007
iPhone: Simple to use.
Paris Hilton: Simple.
iPhone: Well-protected against viruses.
Paris Hilton: Has herpes.
iPhone: Critics complained battery life too short.
Paris Hilton: Critics complained prison life too short.
iPhone: Provides driving directions.
Paris Hilton: Knows how to drive. (Sort of.)
iPhone: Responds to touch from multiple fingers at once.
Paris Hilton: Responds to touch from multiple fingers at once.
iPhone: Wants to be held by everyone.
Paris Hilton: Wants to be held by her mother.
iPhone: Sexy footage leaked onto the net.
Paris Hilton: Sexy footage leaked onto the net.
iPhone: Appeared in multi-million dollar ad campaign.
Paris Hilton: Appeared in House of Wax.
iPhone: Everyone wants what's in the box.
Paris Hilton: Everyone knows what's in the box.
Feel free to make your own comparisons in the comments...
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June 28th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
[...] that were camping out in line to be the first to buy an iPhone, but to me they all seemed like Paris Hilton paparazzi. Something you only read about but couldn’t imagine actually seeing (or wanted to [...]
June 28th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
iPhone: pretty face
Paris: not so much, really
June 29th, 2007 at 3:36 am
iPhone: Has at least 4 gigs of memory
Paris Hilton: Doesn’t
June 29th, 2007 at 3:49 am
iPhone: Has a religious following of young geeks.
Paris Hilton: Has a religious following of young girls.
iPhone: Licks the competition.
Paris Hilton: Licks the —–.
iPhone: Cool looking and highly functional.
Paris Hilton: Cool looking and highly dysfunctional.
This reminds me of the penis slogan game. You know, take a product slogan and substitute the word “penis” for the product. “Have a Coke and a smile” turns into “have a penis and a smile.” You can have some fun with that too. You’d be surprised how many of them actually make sense in one way or another.
June 29th, 2007 at 4:05 am
iPhone: I wouldn’t pay for it, but if someone wanted to give me one I would accept.
Paris Hilton: I wouldn’t pay for her, but if she wanted to give me one I would accept.
June 29th, 2007 at 4:14 am
Hey, have you actually seen that sleep inducing video of her getting shagged? It is so boring that if I found my 12 year old son perusing it, I would smack him and teach him how to use google better!
I think that most men would find it extremely difficult to stay awake, let alone anything else in the sack with that boring, cold fish.
June 29th, 2007 at 4:22 am
iPhone: Sometimes sucks.
Paris Hilton: Always sucks (literally).
June 29th, 2007 at 5:18 am
[...] er, lets you make calls and communicate. It’s the latest thing. Paris Hilton is a celebrity who is blonde-ish. Phone: Simple to use. Paris Hilton: Simple. iPhone: Questionable protection against viruses. [...]
June 29th, 2007 at 5:46 am
Don’t forget Michael Moore’s movie too – in the 3 way battle he is the twerp
June 29th, 2007 at 6:08 am
“iPhone: Questionable protection against viruses.”
Wrong line. Something like: “Keeps legs crossed like a nun” would have been more proper. Apple won’t even let anyone else develop *programs* for the damn thing… :P
June 29th, 2007 at 7:54 am
Funny stuff – love the comparison!
I actually wrote something about this recently on my site too — personally, I think they both cost too much.
June 29th, 2007 at 9:10 am
iPhone – Face consists of hard, transparent plastic shell
Paris – Face consists of hard, transparent plastic shell
iPhone – Can be bought for $599.
Paris – Can be bought for a line of blow
iPhone – Fits easily in your pants
Paris – Get easily into her pants
June 29th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
[...] iPhone vs. Paris Hilton Hype Competition. [...]
June 29th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
[...] to lay their hands on the product unless they are willing to flaunt it in public. So why even pit Paris Hilton against the iPhone in the battle of the hype? Just hand her an iPhone to flaunt on the Larry King Show and everywhere [...]
July 3rd, 2007 at 6:30 am
iPhone: Responds to touch from multiple fingers at once.
Paris Hilton: Responds to touch from multiple fists at once.
July 3rd, 2007 at 2:01 pm
iPhone: regurgitates files stored in memory
Paris Hilton: regurgitates semen stored in vagina
July 9th, 2007 at 4:14 am
[...] l’article original pour ceux que ça [...]
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:24 pm
[...] Ok I totally laughed my head off when reading this article by 10 Zen Monkeys. They compare Paris *Yuk* Hilton with the iPhone. Some random quotes below, including some hilarious quotes from the comments. [...]