Expect Trouble Activating Your iPhone

While fans with bulging wallets crowd the Apple stores, Apple already knows they're doomed. Apparently, they fully expect iTunes to choke on all the traffic from iPhone activations.

Apple wants to dissipate as quickly as possible the crushing mobs at their retail stores, so they've promoted the first-of-its-kind online activation heavily:

Activating iPhone takes only minutes as iTunes guides the user through simple steps to choose their service plan, authorize their credit and activate their iPhone, Apple said. Once iPhone is activated, users can then easily sync all of their phone numbers and other contact information, calendars, email accounts, web browser bookmarks, music, photos, podcasts, TV shows and movies just like they do when they sync their iPods with iTunes. --AppleInsider.com

The only problem is that all those requests at the same time will put a huge strain on Apple's iTunes servers. But, at least then, they don't have to deal with a lynch mob at the retail level.

10 Zen Monkeys has received an anonymous tip from an Apple Store employee -- and he wasn't afraid to admit he's not happy about the fact he hasn't been with Apple a year and therefore isn't getting a free phone -- outlining a memo that was sent around, informing managers on how to deal with surly iPhone customers who can't connect to iTunes, which is the only way to activate their phones.

In the memo, employees are told to expect some customers to return to stores in person to complain, though it should be a small number.

"We've been told to be courteous, polite, and even apologetic. And then suggest that they go home and try again an a little while. And under no circumstances will they be allowed to activate their phones in-store." So if you're thinking that -- think different.

"Another important little tidbit," said the anonymous Apple employee, "Good luck calling Apple or AT&T to complain. Both companies' customer support lines will probably be massively busy."

The best strategy is to wait until later in the weekend to activate your phone, he said. We say to Apple, "Good luck with that."

See also:
Paris Hilton v. iPhone
I'm a Mac v. Bill Gates
5 Sexiest Apple Videos

This article is satire

8 thoughts to “Expect Trouble Activating Your iPhone”

  1. This is TOTALLY FALSE! APPLE and ITUNES has NOTHING to do with it. It is PURELY ATT/CINGULAR WHO HAS DROPPED THE BALL HERE. ATT IS 1000000000000000000% to blame on this one.

  2. Well I have Sprint and it’s taking forever to get my iPhone activated as well. These problems are making Apple look really bad. AT&T looks incompetent as well but lots of people already thought poorly of them.

  3. I work in the activations department at AT&T, we are overwhelmed with calls to activate iPhones. Activation times are taking longer than expected due to the call volume.. for faster processing.. follow the instructions to activate on your iPhone provided by iTunes. It will get submitted to us and we can and will activate your phone as quickly as possible. You’ll get an email on your iPhone that lets you know when its been activated. Please make sure when you are setting up your account that you are checking and double checking your information.. this way we do not have to put a HOLD on it due to misinformation on your account. Check your rate plan.. is it compatible with the features you want? All these things make a huge difference when activating your phones.
    Another thing to keep in mind.. if you already have a cell number from a different provider than AT&T we have to wait for them to release that number to us so we can give it to you. This takes longer than “Just minutes ” to activate your phone.. so if you haven’t already called your current service provider and let them know you want to PORT your number to AT&T.. please .. please do so.
    We are working real hard on getting your new toys activated. We haven’t forgotten about you.

  4. (Overzealous) Joe said: “This is TOTALLY FALSE! APPLE and ITUNES has NOTHING to do with it. It is PURELY ATT/CINGULAR WHO HAS DROPPED THE BALL HERE. ATT IS 1000000000000000000% to blame on this one.”

    Apple dropped the ball when they entered an exclusivity deal with AT&T and then didn’t ensure that their strategic partner couldn’t keep up. If you sell a product and require a third party to allow your customers to use said product, it’s still your name on the device and customers will still associate your product with the (perceived) poor service. Oh, and calm down with all the caps and the quintillion percents, this problem isn’t going to make the Apple Corp go away any time soon.

    And I say, if I go someplace to buy a phone and can’t have it activated before I leave the store to see if it works, well, they won’t get my money.

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