It's the most expensive movie ever made — and probably the most heavily licensed.
Sony Pictures needs to earn $250 million just to break even on Spiderman 3 — so they've already licensed the costumed superhero's image for hundreds of products. Some are funny, some are strange, and some are stupid. We'll let you figure out which are which.
When Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider, he learned that with great power comes great responsibility.
But I don't think he ever expected...toothbrushes.
Fights Crime — and Cavities
|Nothing screams dental hygiene like a tiny superhero clinging desperately to your toothbrush. ("No! Not the back molars!!") Is Peter Parker afraid of tooth decay, or just of being pushed into your stinky mouth?
This $8.00 toothbrush from Crest features the ol' floss-spinner himself. Fight plaque with the power of a radioactive spider's bite — and some delicious Crest toothpaste.
And maybe some mouthwash.
"Ooh — did ookums get a boo-boo? I was bitten by a radioactive insect, gaining the freakish powers of a spider. So if there's one thing I know about, it's preventing infections."
"Unless you're allergic to latex."
|"I'm a graduate from the Harvard School of Business — and my tie has Spider-Man on it."
It's the cutting edge in comic book superhero formal wear, and it's drawing rave reviews on Amazon.
"WOMEN LOVE IT!!! ...There's nothing that says, 'I'm a great lover and would make a good father' quite like 'Ol Spidey dangling right there down a man's torso... when I put this tie on, it's like I'm shooting electric sparks of love!"
5 of 5 people found this review helpful.
|It's the ultimate slipper — it's half good, and half evil.
While you pad across your living room, Spider-Man protects you from supervillains and chilly tiles.
But Venom is lurking, just a few toes away, brooding on malevolent new crimes that involve static electricity.
Just remember: While you're lazing around on a Sunday morning, your slippers are plotting to destroy you.
Not only could Spider-Man stop a freight train — he is a freight train.
What kid hasn't dreamed of replacing fighting superheroes with drawings of them on the sides of a box car. Just imagine the thrilling battles when the Spider-Man boxcar fights the Green Goblin boxcar — to boxcar death.
The real moral of this story is that Sony didn't need to spend a quarter of a billion dollars making Spiderman 3. Kids would rather stay home playing with trains.
George Bush vs. Spider-Man
Lost "Horrors" Ending Found on YouTube
The Celebrity Breast Conspiracy
Five Lamest Charlie Brown Cartoons
Neil Gaiman Has Lost His Clothes