It's followed by excerpts from five of the book's chapters. All the material below is copyrighted 2008 by Daniel A. Trinity Jackson
More About the D.C. Madam
On this entire subject of Government Intrusion into our personal lives, there is "something else" that I want to talk about. It concerns the choices that we make with our own lives and how we succumb to our fears or other negative feelings, such as the need to be in control. Finally I realize that not even by leaving behind us the most sinister grip of tyranny through a voting booth, through revolution or through death can any of us ever hope to be truly free. Corrupt Government may fall, yet our personal chains are so much harder to break!
At the risk of offering a more meaningful explanation that may be a great big stretch for some people, even I myself believed that becoming a Madam and creating the business that I ran and got busted for was the "real" reason why I am now no longer an Earth dweller. For a very short while, I felt terrible pain about loosing my life, loosing my business and loosing control of my affairs. I briefly went through a victim mentality, "well you dumb B*tch, thought you could peddle flesh and not pay a price for it?" For a brief period I hated myself because I felt like an idiot, a looser and a complete fool for loosing control of my affairs, only to realize in my Afterlife experience that in the end everyone surrenders control – it is a truly essential part of every person’s "life"!
There are few things in life that will get you in more trouble, or cost you more agony and sleepless nights than fear of loosing control. The truth is I had to surrender control because I had reached the end of my need to have that control. In my life I had created one of the most successful escort services – but there really was nowhere else for me to go. What the hell was I going to do next – run for Congress? Retire in Tahiti? Set up a "grow house" on the moon? Yes there was still another "Mount Everest" in life for me to climb but I couldn’t see it; it was invisible to me. And the only way for me to see it was to escape by either surrendering my need for control or by loosing my Earthly existence or both. So now here in the Afterlife, everything is perfectly in view for me. I have a whole new cycle of personal experience to embrace. I have a very exciting new physical incarnation to look forward to. I am once again excited about my true purpose for living and being.
The Government was my own dark shadow. The Government is very often our own personal dark shadow. Once we begin to recognize this we can move past the guilt, punishment, blame games and victimization. Until such time as the Human Race gets really, totally and completely fed up with limiting beliefs and values, our Government will stand as a reminder, a grim reminder that we are anything but a free people living in a world of real freedom and personal fulfillment. It is such an incredible irony, but now that I am in the Afterlife, I understand finally that I was not a pawn in, nor a victim of, our Government’s game. I gamed myself by holding myself in limitation through my own personal control issues. If anything, the Government has served as a pawn in my own game and my own game was to set myself free of the psychological hang-ups and snares that prevent each of us from appreciating and understanding who we really are and what we can ultimately realize and accomplish.
From Chapter One — "Why Write a Book When I'm "Dead?" "The last words of Archimedes of ancient Greece were "Do not disturb my circles". I should have quoted Archimedes to the Bureaucrats in Washington before I "checked out"! My circles have indeed been disturbed, so now I have returned to disturb certain circles in Washington and elsewhere. They should have known better! Some say and think to themselves it was I that should have known better. Once this book is complete, we will certainly see about that!"
From Chapter 2 — "The Afterlife" "In the moment of my “death†I took my final breath and passed out. The first thing that happened after that was seeing a sphere of golden-white light that I immediately understood to be what remained of me outside of my human body. I was attached to my human body with a rope-like cord of light. The cord just got thinner and thinner and suddenly it snapped and it made a sound just like a bone or a stick of wood breaking. I paused for a few moments looking at my corpse. I thought of the people in government who were ready to sentence me to years in prison. And I thought, “It should be them hanging here by their necks, not meâ€. I confess to all of you now that I am not particularly proud of having felt like this at the time! After all, they are only human beings doing a job that is their livelihood and their passionate purpose. Perhaps they are guilty of misplaced passions, but probably not anything more. Almost immediately after my cord of light snapped, I literally felt what was left of me being pulled straight upward, as if I was a helium balloon that began to float or as if I was suddenly caught in a tornado wind updraft. But I did not ascend slowly and there was nothing that I was able to see associated with the ascending motion. In an absolute, split second “instant†I was surrounded by an absolutely impossible number of other souls more or less just like myself. I was instantly transported to the Abode of Spirit! From deep within the center of my being I heard a melody that I can only describe as sounding like a cross between a thunderstorm mixed with heartbeats, a low pitched engine running and an alto flute tuned to between C and C#. And then I started to cry, because I knew that my life on Earth was over and I also knew that I was in some magickal place that was exactly where I was meant to be. I was filled with a feeling of tremendous relief and of peace and yet I felt overwhelmingly confused! In writing this book, I realize and acknowledge that I have several important responsibilities to you. I must tell you the truth as clearly as possible. I must make an attempt to protect you from your own tendency toward false or irrational ideas. I must safeguard all of the developing future happenings that are in your interest. I must not add to the pains and misfortunes of the world. These are just a few of the principles and ideals that Beings of the Higher Unseen Worlds believe in. Many things that you will read in this book you will find to be controversial. The mere fact that this book exists at all is in and of itself a controversy! My personal opinion on “controversy†and controversial matters is that only cowards shun controversy! If the truth is so feared and reviled that the only possible reaction to it is to either attack it or run away from it then how can the World ever hope to achieve anything more substantial than ignorance, censorship or intolerance? The price of censorship in particular is simply too great! So let me ask each of you to never fear words! Not the meanings of words nor the ideas behind them. In order to bring forth the truth, the falsehoods must all be exposed! If what you seek is Light, you can only have it with an honest confronting of darkness in all of its forms! Most of what I have seen here in the Afterlife is just absolutely, positively remarkable; it’s called Heaven for really good reason! And just what is this “here†existence that I find myself in? Well, in my final moments on Earth I found myself hoping either for a Tiki Bar that is always open, or maybe a mountain glacier made of butter pecan ice cream and spiced rum cake but instead I think I got something much better! You’re never alone here unless you want to be. You’re never cold or hot here, unless you want to be. Men in particular will probably appreciate that being in the Afterlife is just like being back in the womb. It’s like the “membrane†of the Afterlife “world†expands and contracts with your own breath! It’s a strange feeling but it’s an absolutely sinfully delicious one! Kind of like being in a room with incredibly soft rubbery walls that are trying to have sex with you! It’s also this unbelievable sense of security and I don’t mean “homeland security†either. You just feel surrounded by love, validation, appreciation. The Abode of Spirit is a place that is almost too beautiful and wondrous to describe. The words that I have used to describe and explain it to you are almost inadequate, as you will realize for yourself at the appropriate time. There is no good reason for anyone to live in anxiety or to have any fear about death and the Afterlife."
From Chapter 5 — "The Sex Life" "I think it is true that I am an expert on all phases of sexual addictions. My own passions have driven me to the very brink of self-destruction, insanity, financial ruin, total subjugation and outright despair! And remember, I am speaking of all of my many incarnations and lifetime experiences, not merely my most recent incarnation! Speaking particularly to those in the audience with a more “straight†perspective of sexuality, why would anyone ever subject themselves or choose to be subjected to such extremes? Well I can tell you that the Zen Procreative Force is exactly the same “driving force†that pushed our astronauts to risk life and limb in the pursuit of space exploration! It is the same Force that pushed Christopher Columbus and his crew to sail to the new world, this despite dire warnings that the world was flat and his voyage was doomed to failure. It is the exact same all powerful driving force that is pushing every scientist to find a cure for cancer and every theologian to seek God through religious experience. Because at the very core of every fascination, every obsession, every passion, every kinky sexual fantasy, it is the Zen Procreative Life Force, acting in concert with individual consciousness, that is the driving force behind every single one of our personal human dramas and passion plays! I will dare to say here in this book, that it was my own “employment†of the Zen Procreative Life Force that enabled me to snare and entrap the Government Bureaucrats who were hiring women for sexual gratification through Pamela Martin Escort Services, which exposed them as the self-absorbed, self-serving hypocrites that they were and cost them their official positions in “our†Government! The final thing that I want to say on this subject is that no one should explore their sexuality without preparing adequately for the journey. You wouldn’t climb a mountain without appropriate climbing gear. No one in their right mind would go skydiving without first performing a safety check of their parachute. So please make sure that you pack condoms, employ modern birth control methods and pay attention to any warning signals from your body as well as your intuition. Until everyone in the world can be lovingly responsible – each to the other – it is essential that we take every appropriate step along the path to personal fulfillment."
From Chapter 7 — Regarding the Future on Earth "It will also be discovered that love can be both amplified and transmitted exactly as if it were radio waves sent across the planet. Now why would you do this? Doing this will serve as a continuous daily reminder that no one is ever alone, love is everywhere and it is a stream of kindness that is available to anyone who needs it anytime, anywhere. And anyone can be “in the flow†of love by simply relaxing and picking up these transmissions of love with a simple electronic transceiver apparatus and two small metal electrodes placed in each hand. By Year 2089 such an instrument will be nearly as common as are cell phones today. Unlike cell phones however they will emit no radiation harmful to the body and “air time†will be universally free to all!"
From Chapter 9 — "Up Close And Personal" "I imagine that most of you know that I was studying at the Thomas Jefferson School of Law. I never graduated. Instead I began to grow increasingly disillusioned with both my own life and the prospect of becoming a legal council. I was told by certain people that I would have made an excellent legal professional one day. Now why “on Earth†would I give up a promising legal career and become involved with hookers and pimps and johns? I am certain that this is Big Question #1 on many peoples minds. When I was younger I thought the legal profession was “glamorous†and I was intrigued with it. In other words, I was youthful and idealistic about getting into a possible practice of law. At one point, I was even thinking of what it might be like to be hearing and deciding cases – a bench position as judge. There is no question that one of the most incredible ironies of my entire life is that it was a fear of being sentenced again by the legal system and losing both my freedom and my personal human dignity that drove me to suicide. So here we have the two very curious sides of Deborah Palfrey. Side “A†(maybe we should call it “Exhibit Aâ€) that I once considered legal work an idealistic venture that might even be beneficial to society and then there is Side “Bâ€, Exhibit “B†that found me on the wrong side of the witness stand! I mean really! I am still asking myself “what was that all about?†and “what was I thinking?†I am inclined to believe that my life became living proof of two very powerful principles in action. The first of these is “Justice cuts both ways†and the second, “Judge not or else you might be next in lineâ€. Whatever it is exactly that this entire “judgmental†experience was trying to tell me, I have absolutely seen enough of it that I will never again permit myself to become embroiled in it again! I want to make this very important statement now and I am literally offering it as a prediction for the future. The criminal justice system is going to implode and anyone who cannot now see that must be living in an airtight plastic storage container or something! The ever increasing stresses on the state and federal budgets is going to result in large numbers of prisoners being turned onto the streets without any reasonable effort made to re-introduce them back into society. At the same time that this occurs, it will be further realized that growing corruption is sending ever increasing numbers of the wrong people – innocent people – straight to prison. Our human inclination toward Judgement is turning into an impossible “rush to judgementâ€! This will become an intolerable situation before too much longer! Back to my story; and once again – Why did I give up a promising legal career to become involved with hookers and pimps and johns? It was because I was attracted by the large sums of money in the prostitution business and frankly, it was because I realized I was much more interested in getting people into bedrooms and into each other than I was really interested in getting people into – or out of – holding cells and jails! Is that sufficiently blatant enough for you? I really do not want to offend anyone’s sensibilities here but this is literally what was going on inside of me at the time. I was briefly involved in cocktail waitressing and that was a definite move in the direction that I wanted to go with income and the freedom to be more self expressive and in control of my life on terms that felt right to me. Some readers may find this very hard to believe but pimps, prostitutes and escort business customers are human beings with families, occupations, hopes and dreams like “everyone elseâ€. Some of the ladies in my employment were hoping to quit the business at the earliest opportunity, get college degrees and new careers and eventually start a family and raise their children. Some women are definitely attracted to the unknown element of having brief affairs with male strangers on an ongoing basis. The customers of Escort Services are a complete cross section of the entire society. They fit no particular demographic pattern. Arguably, because Pamela Martin was an “upscale†Escort Service, the clients I attracted tended to be more affluent and successful types. But if you look at Escort Businesses as a whole there is no meaningful pattern to draw about the customers other than perhaps they share a sincere belief that taking someone to bed on “short notice†is considered a private matter between consenting adults and not the business of government and society. I believe it must be noted that I did not find myself in real trouble with the law until I transferred money to a foreign bank account. That is when the government sprung into action – but not until! This would appear to make a mockery of the argument that it was “immoral behavior†that the government was primarily concerned with. When I was in and out of court I strongly believed it was really all about the money and today from my perspective in the Afterlife I remain convinced it was the money that was the central issue. Further to this, I sincerely believe that it is not prostitutes or even pimps that our society takes issue with. It is the fact that these people are making money – often substantial sums of money – through sex related services. If there was no money in prostitution the government would almost surely have no case to prosecute and therefore they would not be wasting their time and the taxpayer’s dollars in the process! Today more than ever before I believe that what people do in their private lives should be of no concern to anyone except the people who were themselves involved in whatever took place. The only legitimate exceptions would be in cases of rape, “unwelcome sexual advance†(this is my own term which is intended to cover a range of inappropriate touching or problematic behavior) or in an event such as mental or emotional trauma. These should be the only possible, permissible and allowable conditions and circumstances where intimate personal activity should become a social or legal concern. I further believe that the entire “sexual entertainment†industry, including night clubs with adult theme entertainment, strip clubs, porno movie houses, sex shops and escort services should all be “redesigned†in a manner that will be better tolerated by mainstream society because it is rendered “minimally offensiveâ€. Constructive steps might include the creation of “red zones†which would not be accessible to children and would be located outside of residential and metropolitan areas. I could imagine a “limited access†area where consenting adults could swim and sunbathe naked without being observed, with hot tubs, showers, and camping facilities on premises and a party atmosphere with adult theme activities. At the very least, these “adult theme†campgrounds and “adult recreation†red zone centers should be located as far away as possible from schools, government offices and religious places of worship so that they will no longer be considered an “eyesore of immorality†to the rest of society. If this seems too much to ask, the alternative is a continuation of the existing “shameless display†of inner city adult business establishments which is clearly entirely unacceptable to the parties of both sides of this social debate. Thousands of years of human history demonstrates convincingly that human sexuality cannot be effectively regulated or controlled by either religion or government. The alternative is that we spend the rest of human history arguing over something that defies the obsessive need for restriction and control. In the final analysis, only the Adult Entertainment Industry is truly qualified to regulate and police itself! The only thing else that I would like to say about all of this is that while I have no feelings that this escort business activity was damaging to me in any certain or particular way, I remain deeply concerned for the effect that the entire affair has had upon my family and my associates in this “escort business†line of work. It is not that I was “exposed†publicly as a Madam that bothers me in any way. What has been unbearably difficult and painful for me is the realization that my family never wanted the media and law enforcement attention that resulted from my chosen line of work. So let this statement be my “life after death†public confession that the only thing that I feel truly sorry for is whatever level of hurt and pain that my family and associates have had to endure as the outcome of my actions and business activities. Beyond this, I have a completely clean conscience concerning this entire matter and my personal role in it." Copyright 2008 Daniel A. Trinity Jackson
See Also:
The Ghost of the D.C. Madam
Death of a Madam
The D.C. Madam Speaks