What happens when an aging pickup artist of legendary proportions falls from grace and is supplanted by a younger crop of studs? And how does the elder Don Juan deal with seeing his classroom-centered “hypnosis” strategies made obsolete by the bolder, hacker-inspired models of the next generation?
Author Neil Strauss devotes part of his bestselling book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists to just such a real-world changing of the guard. It’s amusing to read the latest in the world of Ross Jeffries, the original “speed seducer,” because I had personally crossed paths with the man back in 1999, and it made a lasting impression.
He’d invited me, as manager of the webzine GettingIt.com, to attend one of his weekend-long seminars teaching geeks and losers how to pick up women. It was as absurd and ridiculous as you would imagine such an event should be.
Later, after we published a negative article about the course and the man, he lashed out, threatened to sue, and then backed down. Just a year ago he returned to the comments section of the article and, in an effort to recover his reputation, questioned my journalistic objectivity.
Thanks, Ross, for allowing me to now expand upon my memorable time at your seminar.
I'd attended according to Jeffries' invite, which allowed two people, a male and a female, to sit in. So I brought the zine's sex editor, Cara Bruce, along. She later wrote about the experience here. Sadly for her, she was extremely tired from partying the night before, and soon after swallowing a questionable “wake me up” pill, she fell asleep during Ross' class. About 30 minutes later, he noticed and jarred her awake by screaming at her. When Cara awoke, she was tripping balls, eyes bugging wildly, and the sight of Ross' hideous mug barking in her face was enough to really freak her out. She grabbed my forearm for support and I led her into the hallway for reassurance before we returned to class.
But it was all the other stuff we saw that day that freaked me out. I expected a playful, if sexist presentation of half-baked pickup advice. But when Jeffries' hostility and aggression came whining to the surface, I became shocked that anyone would willingly sit through such treatment.
Nowadays, Ross is in a fight for his career and his relevance. The next generation of pickup artists, like author of “The Game,” Neil Strauss, who mentored under the best PUAs (including Jeffries) before ascending the ranks himself, are blowing Jeffries out of the water with field seminars where they take chumps into clubs, and proceed to demonstrate, guide, and tutor in the skills of macking (or rather, “FMAC”ing — Find, Meet, Attract, Close) on girls.
Indeed, all aspects of “seduction” (even this term has evolved — it’s called “sarging” now) have been profoundly affected by the Internet since the days of Jeffries' initial groundbreaking workshops that cost upwards of $800 per person. PUAs now openly share their best strategies with each other, and they deconstruct social dynamics like superstar computer hackers cracking code on crystal meth.
"Me personally, I’d never spend money on something I can persuade someone else to purchase for me," says nlpimp in the GettingIt.com article's comments. "And thank God for the Internet, because it allowed me to attain these skills ABSOLUTELY FREE."
But there are certain types of instruction you simply cannot get online (yet). For a price into the thousands, a peacock of a stud will snatch you from in front of that computer, whisk you off in a limo, and toss you into a thumping night club crawling with HBs (hot babes). They'll watch over your shoulder while you steal the show from the very same alpha males that have always taunted you and banged what should have been YOUR cooter.
Ross Jeffries, on the other hand, has a different focus. He's in his mid-40s, so he sticks mostly to the classroom, and teaches his students scripts to memorize and recite, like this "blow job pattern" found on the Internet:
Yeah well, do you like chocolate? (Or is there a food that when you see it you absolutely have to put it in your mouth?) … And then there’s that moment, that moment when the first molecule of chocolate touches your tongue and you know it’s inside your mouth and you just want to keep it there because it’s so rich and so good. And there’s that extra special warmth when you swallow that sweetness down.
If the above seems like it would not quite yield the speaker a blow job in the real world, keep in mind that Ross puts just as much effort into conquering the men he teaches as he does teaching them how to conquer their fears with women. He has built a cult that specializes in humiliating the guys who come to him, using his students' deep inward pain, and hypnotic suggestion. Ross’ sessions are insulated, intense, and very male-centric.
In Strauss' book (a great read even if you're not desperate to learn Lothario's trade secrets), the author, who was already an established writer of rock star biographies before becoming a pickup artist, tells the story of how he too was invited early on by Jeffries to attend a seminar for free. Strauss accepted but quickly became alarmed by Ross' obsessive need to get him to disparage other pickup artists and pledge exclusive allegiance to him.
"You are being led into the inner sanctum of power, my young apprentice," he said to Strauss, "and the price for betrayal is dark beyond measure of your mortal mind."
The darkness of Jeffries’ dominance-inspired methods often shows itself as dark comedy. At one point, Strauss is cajoled by Jeffries to take him to a Hollywood party so he can hit on "real celebrities." At the party, he initially pretends to be Strauss' gay lover, but ends up following Carmen Electra around on all fours, sniffing her ass as if he were a dog.
"I made a mental note," writes Strauss, "never again to take Ross anywhere cool. It was an embarrassment."
Later in the book, when Strauss' close friend and master PUA, Mystery, has a nervous breakdown and is feeling suicidal, he blubbers that he doesn't want be "another Ross Jeffries." In what can only be a painful irony for Jeffries, what he started as a kind of homoerotic fraternity for geeks has, in the hands of his successors, evolved into a valid toolbox for getting laid, leaving him largely alone, outdated, and struggling desperately to maintain even the moniker of "seducer."
21 thoughts to “Downfall of “The Seducer””
If someone calls me “young apprentice” and talks about prices “dark beyond measure”, he’d better follow up by teaching me how to choke people with my mind.
It’s stupid to read these trashings of Ross Jeffries. It’s pure jealousy. The guy INVENTED the field, period. That should mean something and is in itself worthy of respect.
He is a scam artist and a power hungry freak. He didn’t invent anything, the so called “game” has been around for ever. Ross only brought sexual patterns to the table, which from my own personal experience are useless.
Ross Jeffries is a kind of pioneer, and he has had some measure of success on video, so he deserves his respect at least in terms of paying homage. In all fairness, magic, hypnosis, chakra, astrology etc all still have some appeal with most women contextually by default. His message that he isn’t thinking about sex on approach, he just wants to “play” with them and “test” them, is viable, effective, and used to this day. But as Jeff points out, his methods are a bit dated and he’s letting himself go a bit appearance wise. Ultimately, it’s just that some of Ross’ moves are a little contrived or forced. When he points to his tongue for example, using “NLP, he looks more creepy than smooth.
The effective methods (that worked for my friends and I) came from a combination of Dave DeAngelo’s Deep Inner Game (including Dr. Paul Dobransky MindOS psychological health techniques), and then of course the Mystery Method, which is failsafe when you memorize your routines and the order they come in. Those two in concert plus actually going out there and doing it, were the most effective techniques for us.
You do realize its called sarging after the name of ross jefferies cat?
Any Speed Seducer or Veteran PUA can steal your girl in a week to less than a month! Thats really the bottomline…
That may be true Evolver, but how many PUA’s, no, or MPUA’s/PUG’s are able to keep their girls? Not many it seems. Strauss lost his blonde bomshell to Robbie Williams and Mystery wanted to kill his ex-girflriend because she was impregnated by a black linebacker. PUG’s can pick up girls but their lack of resolve (actually, their resolve is to be unresolved) will infect all the women they meet with the disease of pussyfootin’. Once they finally meet the girl of their dreams (o existential bliss!) and ‘give up’ on the game, they will experience a rude awakening: the girl was really just a figment of a vanishing dream. She will be long gone as you know it. If you decide to be a PUA, you decide to be a PUA forever. If you decide to be a player, you’ve basically decided to vacillate from woman to woman until you’re either calling up Viagra for a wingman or you’re Broken Flowered (finally seduced by existence and de-flowered you to its realities) Bill Murray looking for his son in a desperate search for some meaning in life.
Unfortunately, resolve, loyalty, and earnestness CANNOT be learned in seminars. That’s really the bottomline, and it don’t get no bottomer den DAT.
I attended one of Jeffries seminars ten years ago in Maui. When he was not in front of the classroom, Jeffries was a rather aloof and arrogant sort which left me with a lasting impression of the guy that was hardly positive. Frankly, I believe that he is overrated as are his patterns. Based on my experience they are useless.
Jeff, you’re one bitter, judgmental and uptight person. Everyone has something to offer the world, and whilst RJ might have his short comings, he has his qualities and has made his contribution. It would be fair to say the new guard you sing so highly about got to where they are because of the contribution of people like RJ. He has certinly built the commercial side of the business and contributed to personal development being one of the fastest growing industries around. When someone is so quick to pass judgement, and give such an unbalanced skathing critique, I can never help but think there is at some level jealousy at the very core. Perception is projection at the end of the day. Apart from picking up chicks, NLP is very good at helping people deal with their subconscious stuff, and latent anger at the world, is this something you’ve ever considered? Can you imagine a time when you’re happy and loving towards your fellow man, how does it feel, what do you see, what do you say to yourself when you get there? :-) I know some very good coaches in your area if you want me to hook you up.
This guy was featured on the Daily Show back in Kilborn’s day (I think Beth Littleford interviewed) and it was a riot. He had obviously clueless East-European girls with him and advertised one of his “methods” as pretending to be a Casting Director. At some point, if I recall correctly, she tried to talk to the girls, who just gave a “I have no idea why I accepted the money to be here” look.
Sorry but all these guys are useless. Let life teach you what it will. What’s next, lessons on being a passive-aggressive corporate sociopath that can manipulate their way to the top without adding an ounce of value to the company? Fakery will always be fakery; no matter how glittery. People of value know… (everything can’t be spoon-fed)
Paul Dobransky is cool if you can overlook all the typos in his work
and also overlook the fact that he thinks a fuck buddy is “love” and “healthy”. (maybe an assumption… he didn’t say that directly but he hints to it.)
Also, don’t e-mail him and disagree with him because it ticks him off and he will delete you from his newsletter list and he will have his friends e-mail you a fake WWW registration to his website saying your username is “dumbass” and your password is “null and void”. This is all after he threatens you with litigation for “harassment” because you stood your ground and disagreed with one of his “opinions”
Ive been through a lot of these “dating” products out there, david d, mystery, brent, swinggcat, etc, and Ross Jeffries and Stephane are the only two people out there who truly get it. Some of u dumbasses that wrote these comments say that “patterns dont work”. Thats purely that u are too dumb to use them or even understand at a ll what they are about. Goto a bookstore and pickup a romantic novel that women LOVE to read (over half of all books sold in USA are romantic novels) this languaging is the exact same u dumb shits. RJ teaches u what women really want, and now I have more sexual choice with women than I could ever dream before. None of these other “gurus” know jack shit about what women really want, they teach u how to prey on insecure women(which there are a lot of) not quality women. I guess that I really shouldnt be all that pissed seeing a bunch of dumbasses try to judge RJ seeing as I could easily sleep with any women they have with his techniques (married or not too). =) U guys can have fun with your masturbating, ill get all the chicks for ya
I use this stuff all the time, and when you use it enough you stop thinking about it. Thats what makes it so great. No more remembering when to DHV or DLV or wear a funny hat or any of that bullshit. I’ve never seen ross jefferies before in my life, nor attended a seminar. i dont really care about him, but dont knock NLP its worth looking into. BTW that romantic novel suggestion works extremely well, but i bet most people who read this wont be disciplined enough to do it. oh well more for me.
ROSS JEFFRIES, is nothing like the article described aboved. he has helped more men, probably thousands more, then all the other pua put together.
It’s amazing what type of horrible crack will be posted on the net.
Warning to the viewer:: for one, be thank you have read me response. Secondly, do your own research, as opposed to reading bonehead comments, about what good or what not,
so does ross jeffries teach men how to commit themselves to a woman or is he all about a lack of commitment?
Ross is still quite good at what he teaches. Any of these PUAs can be made to look like a fool up to and including Mystery and David De (Mystery and his breakdowns, etc.).
Also, iconclast is correct, almost none of these guys is any good at holding onto girls long-term, and you better believe they want to occasionally. Ross’s material can easily be used to find and keep ladies either short-term or longer.
its the teachings that we should judge not the person..Ross..as a person doesn’t have to bother any of us.Admit it AFC like us would have starve if were born at his time.no internet.no puas.no help.he is a legend and we are nowhere around him in the game.and u cant judge his teachings looking at a moment.as for his teachingsâ€ži think he has done fabulous job. c’mon u don’t expect to get laid reading scripts. do u?what I admire most about his work is .it gave me solid foundation of perspective for gameplay and confidence to hook a 10.instead of bragging judgemental shits about him looking at his adds and attitude. I suggest taking a good dive into his works.ull rate them at least 8/10.
I’m just gonna leave this right here: